What did my pregnancy teach me?
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Everyone knows pregnancy is one of the most intense journeys one can make. I never thought it would be smooth and easy, but I was still surprised to discover new things about myself while I was going through it for the first time. Here are four things I learned and thought worth sharing:
Pregnancy really emphasized how only I can decide what's comfortable for me. There are so many questions and decisions you have to make in the process from routine blood work to something more substantial such at-home vs. hospital delivery. Every step along the way there are lots details, and it feels endless and scary!
No one can make these decisions for you. When it comes to being pregnant, some things feel more intense and stressful to some and bring peace and calmness to others. We are all different, and pregnancy only highlights these differences. Some of these that I had to make decisions on included: pre-pregnancy genetic testing, Covid-19 vaccine, amnio fluid testing, delivery location, and whether or not to work with a doula. Obviously there are many more, but these are the ones I took the extra time to do research and form an opinion on.
It was hard to reach out to friends and family for advice because of how personal pregnancy is. People who do offer advice oftentimes project their own experiences onto yours, and usually they have nothing in common. You have to find your own truth and just go with it. I limited the amount of advice I was getting, and tried to make sense of what would be best for me every step of the way.I already knew I had to fight for the best healthcare for myself in general, but pregnancy brought so many new areas in this realm to concentrate on. It was quite the battle when I had to consider what will my health insurance cover, which hospital/clinic should I go to, which doctor should I see, which blood tests cover which concern, how much does delivery cost, etc etc. With all of these decisions I had to fight for the best care for myself. You really have to be pushy and stubborn, even if that means posting questions on Facebook groups, calling insurance companies until you have answers, and calling the doctor/nurse with extra questions. I did all of these with no shame and I'm really glad I did.
Very early on in my pregnancy I realized my perfectionism had to GO. I just couldn't keep pushing my life like I did before being pregnant ,and I discovered a lot of flexibility and forgiveness towards myself (which I never thought existed). I was wearing the same things every day (leggings and a t-shirt/top), and zero make-up and jewelry. I didn't go crazy with what I ate or put on my body, and I tried to have a healthy balance; which included following some cravings. I figured that simple was better, and I tried to stay away from pregnancy trends like fancy prenatal vitamins. The cheap ones totally got the job done!
In my third trimester, I found out that my baby was on the small side. This was one of the hardest days of my life. It was a big scare that required me to attend many extra doctor’s appointments and monitoring sessions. During that time it was crucial to stay positive and trust the process, even though it felt impossible. I came to find out that many, if not most, pregnancies have these moments of "scares", and it's really important to keep your head above water. These were the hardest moments of this journey, but I learned a lot and I was grateful for my medical team’s patience. If the team taking care of you seems to not be sensitive and enough, then that’s a sign you need to CHANGE to a different one. It's their job to give you the best care possible. This process is yours, and you should claim it.